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How Should Couples Work Through Disagreements About Life Direction?

Video from Desiring God

How Should Couples Work Through Disagreements About Life Direction?

"What would you say to a couple who feel very differently about the direction their life should take?

I believe that the man is called to be the head, according to Ephesians 5:23 ("The man is the head of his wife"), and that headship implies leadership, protection, and provision. I think those three things are implicit and explicit in the Ephesians text, and that the leadership part implies that, in general, a woman marries a man with the understanding that his life calling will govern their relationship.

When I was dating Noël, I would ask her, "If I'm called to do this, how would you feel? And if I'm called to do that, how would you feel?," because most women marry men before the men are fixed in their life calling, and they know that the life callings change. Of course, if you don't believe in the biblical view of headship that I do, then you're going to say, "Well, we're just going to negotiate this 50/50 and figure it out, somehow."

I just think men should be very clear with the women they're courting or dating and say to them, "Will you follow me wherever God leads me?"

Now here's the catch. Jesus said to the men, "Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her." Therefore there is no bone in this man's body that wants to drag his wife where she does not want to go. That's just not the way he wants to lead. Jesus doesn't want to lead us that way. He won't drag us to heaven against our will. If we want out, we can get out (and thus prove that we were never in). But Jesus clearly does not lead coercively..." from Transcript

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