Why Children of Divorce Grow into Broken Adults - Erica Komisar
- Andy McIlvain
- Apr 18
- 2 min read
Video from Chris Williamson
Why Children of Divorce Grow into Broken Adults - Erica Komisar
"Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst, parenting expert, and author.
Why do we assume kids will be okay after divorce? As separation becomes more common, the long-term impact on a child’s development is often overlooked. So what actually happens, and can divorce ever be done without damage?
Expect to learn what most adults misunderstand about how deeply divorce affects kids, why constant parental conflict causes damage to children so deeply and what it does to a child’s stress system and brain development, why 50-50 custody might be a terrible idea for children, what the long-term psychological consequences are from a neglectful parent and much more…" from the video introduction
0:00 Why is Erica’s Work So Controversial? 1:22 The Hidden Impacts of Divorce on Children 4:19 How Stress Rewires a Child’s Development 11:05 Is Amicable Divorce Still Damaging? 14:22 Why 50/50 Custody Might Not Be the Best Solution 22:13 Should Fathers Take a Back Seat? 26:18 Is There Ever a Good Time to Get Divorced? 30:52 How Divorce Shapes a Child’s Future 33:04 Boys vs Girls: Who Suffers More? 34:57 Is Separation During Pregnancy Dangerous? 42:02 Why Do Children Blame Themselves? 50:47 Why Divorce Feels Like Grief For Children 52:25 The Best Time to Break the News 54:26 The Worst Ways to Explain Divorce 59:27 Why Promises Can Backfire in Divorce 01:01:19 What Makes a Divorce “Good” or “Bad”? 01:05:22 Why Stability Matters More Than You Think 01:08:31 How Much Time Should Each Parent Get? 01:14:15 Why Babies Must Come First 01:19:06 How Can Parents Stay Emotionally Steady? 01:21:36 What Does Secure Attachment Really Look Like? 01:27:58 How the Feminist Movement Left Children Behind 01:35:09 Why Daycare is the Worst Place For Children 01:38:21 We Can’t Ignore Early Attachment 01:40:13 Are Attachment Styles Inherited? 01:41:17 Are Babies Born Aggressive? 01:49:54 How Children Cope With Absence 01:53:25 The Discomfort of Sacrifice When Raising Healthy Children 01:59:34 The Toughest Realisations For Modern Mothers 02:09:16 Why Trust is Everything 02:13:17 The Problems Associated With Female Breadwinners 02:23:26 Why Emotional Presence Matters Just as Much as Physical 02:29:33 Where to Find Erica
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